Scene for 15 minutes. Funny short skits are fun ideas. Stalin always keeps his word and is ready for decisive action

Funny scenes are different with different subjects - dramatic, humorous, artistic, etc. The subject for the scene can be chosen absolutely any - from your own idea to an already existing idea. You can write your own script based on your own unique idea or plot. You can write a script for an already finished work, film, fairy tale, play some kind of story.

18 mar 2012

02 june 2012

Dear birthday girl, dear guests! You all have probably heard the expression: “Why are you walking around shaggy like a shishiga ?! Brush your hair! " So, I hasten to please you: on the birthday of our birthday girl, such a client just arrived! Meet Shishiga, my friends!

(A participant in the scene dressed up by Shishiga comes out, it will be funnier if this is a large man dressed in a woman's dress and with very shaggy hair or in a shaggy wig.
Shishiga sings to the tune of the song "Longing for the Motherland" from Ph. "Seventeen Moments of Spring")

Continuation of this scene, read on.

27 May 2012

(two participants come out, dancing, dressed up as new Russian attendants and singing a verse to the tune of ditties):

We do not sow or plow,
But we don't sit idle!
On the anniversary we sing and dance
We make birthday people laugh!

Matryona (speaking):

Flower, and Flower! Why are you as wrinkled as a roll of toilet paper today?

Flower:

Oh, don't tell me, Matryona! I didn’t sleep all night, I kept thinking, how better to congratulate our birthday boy than to please him on such a day ?!

Continuation of the cool scene read on

At entertainment events, in educational institutions, funny scenes for schoolchildren are most popular with the audience. The need to stage such scenes may arise at school KVN, classroom hours or competitions for showing amateur performances. Who is it about in the script for schoolchildren? Of course, about exactly the same students, poor students, excellent students, teachers, class teacher.

Surely the schoolchildren themselves will be interested in putting on a couple of such scenes. It's very easy to play yourself.

Scenario of a funny scene about schoolchildren "Losers"

This scene contains an instructive story for schoolchildren about the importance of doing homework. Several schoolchildren of elementary or middle grades participate in a funny production. They play the following roles: Kolya Petechkin is a poor student and a bully, Sasha Gavrilov is his bosom friend, Vitya Melnikov is an excellent student, two girls are schoolgirls.

Props for the scene: a school desk with chairs, a wooden board, large props buttons.

So, there is a desk on the stage. Two girls run out. Behind them, Kolya Petechkin, pursuing them, jumps out with a plastic tube in his hands.

Girl 1 (shouts):
Stop it, Petechkin!

Girl 2:
Petechkin, stop it! Who do they say!

They are trying to hide from Petechkin at the desk.

Petechkin (selflessly spitting pieces of paper through the straw):
And I will spit! And I will spit! La-lala! How fun I am!

Girl 1:
It is necessary to do informatics, and not to misbehave.

Girl 2:
Otherwise, Kolya, they will ask you today at a computer science lesson, and you will get a deuce!

(Both schoolgirls run away.)

Petechkin (stops spitting):
Computer science? That's right, the teacher promised to call me ... What to do? And, I will try to resort to the help of a friend! (Calling.) Sasha! Gavrilov!

(Sasha Gavrilov comes out.)

Gavrilov:
What do you want, Kolya?

Petechkin:
I need to write off computer science from someone. Maybe you can help a friend out?

Gavrilov:
I would be glad to help you, but, you know, the secret is: I didn't make it myself.

Petechkin:
Eh, problem! How can it be, eh?

Gavrilov:
Do you know what?

Petechkin:
What?

Gavrilov:
You write off Melnikov.

Petechkin:
He will not give.

Gavrilov:
And you somehow contrive ...

(Vitya Melnikov appears with a notebook. He looks approximate, wears glasses.)

Petechkin:
O! Melnikov! (Slyly.) Excellent student!

Melnikov:
Kolya Petechkin, a poor student and a truant! Gerasim, why did you drown Mu-Mu?

Petechkin:
I am not Gerasim, I am Nikolai.

Melnikov (sings with expression to the tune of the melody from the movie "The Godfather"):
Why did Gerasim drown his Mu-Mu? She was lying, did not interfere with anyone! (Leaves proudly.)

Petechkin (following the departed Melnikov):
Oh, you, you decided to tease? Well, I'll teach you a lesson. You will let me write off computer science, and all my life ...

Gavrilov (rubbing his hands):
Will it work for medicines?

Petechkin:
Not! Become afraid of me! (He brings out a piece of a wide wooden board from behind the curtains.) This board will help me to deceive him. Only you, Sanya, must help me in this matter.

Gavrilov:
Okay, what am I supposed to do?

Petechkin:
Confirm whatever I say. (She puts the board under her sweater, presses it to her chest. Shouts backstage.) Hey, Melnikov! Come here! Melnikov! I'm telling you! Come on just a minute.

(Vitya Melnikov comes out.)

Melnikov (proudly):
What do you want, Petechkin?

Petechkin:
That's what, Victor, I have business with you.

Melnikov:
What business can you have with me?

Petechkin:
The friendliest. Help me out, huh? Don't let a person be lost. Let me write off computer science.

Melnikov:
Ah-ah-ah, that's what you mean. Do not even hope.

Petechkin (in solemn bass):
Victor, then prepare to die! I'm not Kolya Petechkin, but I know who? You know? I am the Terminator!

Melnikov (dismissively):
What? You're completely out of your mind, huh?

Petechkin (pompously):
No. I just came from the future, from 2069. And I came with miss ...

Melnikov:
Which miss?

Petechkin (in a whisper):
Not with a miss, but with a mission. (Kolya is recovering and calmly continues.) Yes, I came with a mission.

Melnikov (fearfully):
Which one?

Petechkin:
I have to destroy you, since you know computer science well. And in many years you will know her so well that you will write a computer virus that will destroy all computers on the planet ...

Melnikov (stuttering with fear):
But I can't write viruses ...

Petechkin:
You will learn in the future. And no one will be able to cope with it, because you will program it with high artificial intelligence. And no one will be able to guess the algorithm of his action, because you do not let anyone cheat. Therefore, no one can fight him.

In general, "hasta la vista, baby"!

(Pretends to twitch the trigger of the machine gun, and assumes a warlike pose.)

Melnikov (cringes):
Oh, don't! Spare me. I have a mom and a little brother ...

Petechkin (menacingly):
To spare?

Gavrilov (interrogatively):
Maybe we will spare?

Melnikov:
And I want to ask, how do you feel when you feel like a Terminator?

Petechkin:
Strength and power throughout the body. (Offers.) Hit me in the chest ...

Melnikov (strikes the board hidden under the sweater):
Ouch! (Grimaces in pain) You're bulletproof! Why do you have bad grades in physical education?

Petechkin:
I'm pretending.

Melnikov:
Well, do you see how, somehow in a special way?

Petechkin:
I can see it perfectly, and in the dark too. Just ask me any question.

Melnikov:
Well, let's say ... (Thinks.) How are you?

Petechkin (pretending, shakes his head):
And before my eyes, like in the monitor of an invisible computer, several answers appear at once. The first option - "the fool himself", the second (reads a snide rhyme) - "How are you, how are you, I laid a testicle!" The third - "it's none of your mind."

Melnikov:
And which one will you choose?

Petechkin (solemnly):
The fool himself!

Melnikov (offended):
Petechkin, why did you call me?

Petechkin:
And in the future you will call me a fool, so I already answered you. That is how invulnerable I am.

Gavrilov:
So you, Melnikov, will you let me write it off? Otherwise, the Terminator will destroy you.

Petechkin (fiercely):
"Asta la vista, baby!"

Melnikov:
Don't, don't ruin! I'll let you write off computer science.

Gavrilov:
And math. These sciences are interconnected ...

Petechkin:
OK?

Melnikov (salutes):
That's right, Comrade Terminator.

(Petechkin waves his fists in front of Melnikov's nose, demonstrating his muscles. Girls appear behind them. They put buttons on the chair.)

Girl 1 (viewers):
Petechkin spat pieces of paper. So we will take revenge on him.

Girl 2:
Here we will teach him a lesson! Let's put buttons on the chair. Let him sit! (Both girls run away.)

Petechkin:
Now I'm going to sit on a chair! (She flops down on a chair, immediately jumps up and yells.) Ah!

Girls:
Ha ha! Serves you right, little chocolate! (Run away).

Melnikov:
So you're not made of iron? (He takes out a board from Kolya, from under his bosom.) Oh, there you are! I won't let you write it off! We have to do our homework ourselves! (Leaves.)

Gavrilov:
Eh, Kolka, next time we will have to do our homework ourselves.

Funny scene for schoolchildren "At classroom hour"

School hour is the perfect setting for this funny scene for schoolchildren. Moreover, the class teacher can personally take part in it, but any student can play his role.

Characters according to the scenario: class teacher (CC); Alekseeva and Fedotova - glamorous blondes, laughing schoolgirls; Semenov is a typical excellent student, a bore; Nikitin and Vovan are stupid schoolchildren-hooligans; Samoilova is a lax student with a candy on a stick, always late.

The stage begins. The class teacher enters the classroom.

CR:
Okay, okay, let's go in. (All except Samoilova come in.) What, is that all?

Alekseeva:
What do you mean, of course not! (Samoilova enters.) Now, that's it!

CR:
And this is from the whole class? Where are 18 more people? Can anyone please explain where everyone is?

Semenov:
Well, if you take into account everyone's address, walking speed, terrain and force majeure, then 47% are already at home, and another 53% are on the road.

CR:
Yes, it is clear to the physical education instructor that they left, the question is, why did they leave?

Semenov:
Well, if you take into account the nature of the majority, the number of lessons today and force majeure, then 100% were scored for a class hour.

CR:
Okay, Semyonov, Alekseeva, Fedotova - that's understandable, decent students, but why did you come Nikitin? And he brought a friend with him.

Semenov:
Well, considering ...

CR:
Semyonov, shut up!

Semenov:
No, I just wanted to say that in no case is it ...

CR:
So, Semyonov, here's a little book for you, read, take notes. So, Nikitin, what fate are you here?

Nikitin:
And Vovan and I just turned off the lights, you can't play the computer, you can't watch the TV, so we came from idleness.

Vovan:
And I'm really very interested in cool problems.

CR:
Well, Nikitin, you are seriously unlucky that your light was turned off! Tell me why, did you check the fire extinguisher in the toilet on Thursday?

Nikitin:
Well, we were told that in case of fire, we must immediately extinguish with a fire extinguisher.

Vovan:
Yes, you need to extinguish immediately.

CR:
So where did you get that something is burning ?!

Nikitin:
Well, it smelled of smoke.

Vovan:
Yes, it smelled.

CR (shouting):
As if you don't know what kind of smoke it smells in our toilet!

Nikitin:
And you mean that? No, if someone wanted to do this, they would have called me.

Vovan:
Yes, he would have been called.

CR (after waiting):
All clear. I have no complaints about you, Vova, just a question for Nikitin, and what does a student from another class of another school do at our class hour?

Nikitin:
And, as I said, we turned off the light, and Vovan also has nothing to do, so I took him to have fun, friends need to help.

CR:
Have fun! Well, the students went. Now to other others. Samoilov, not bad. There are no twos, no threes, no fours either ... no ratings at all! Samoilova, when you start going to school. What are you sick with this time?

Samoilov:
I, according to the encyclopedia of diseases, reached the letter "G". I have a headache.

CR:
I would say that you have an inflammation of the cunning, but this, as Nikitin says, is a button accordion!

(The class applauds.)

Fedotova:
You still have to learn "IMHO" and Preved Medved "and everything will be in the chocolate.

Semenov:
I finished reading, checked out, and you know, I think that given ...

CR:
You don't need to take into account anything, you should generally try to teach less, answer, give the floor to other students ...

Semenov:
Yes, but this is from one point of view, psychology says that ...

CR:
There is only one way out. On Semyonov another little book, read, take notes.
So, let's hurry, we have only 15 minutes before Semyonov finishes reading, we need to hurry.
There have been complaints against you Alekseev and Fedotov too! You talk in every lesson!

Alekseeva:
Yes, we are only on the topic.

Fedotova:
Yes, of course on the topic. (Chuckle.)

CR:
And you laugh in class.

Alekseeva:
Yes you!

Fedotova:
No way (chuckle.)

CR:
Draw in a notebook!

Alekseeva:
Well, if only this is a drawing book (And they both burst out laughing. Everybody stares in perplexity, like "Why laugh?")

CR:
(Coughing, indicating that it is time for them to stop) In fact, in a chemistry notebook.

Alekseva:
(Scratches the back of his head, thinking what would lie.) So these are the drawings.

Fedotova:
Yes, okay, what is there to hide, the chemist is such a sweetheart, he allows us. (They laugh again.)

CR:
Okay, there is not much time left, Semyonov is already finishing reading, so tell me, who will make the wall newspaper?

(Silence.)

CR:
I think Nikitin is with his friend.

Nikitin:
Why us?

CR:
Well, so your light was turned off, so you have nothing to do.

Vovan:
And I'm generally from another school.

CR:
Never mind. You said yourself that you are interested in cool problems. Besides, friends need help. Whatman paper is in the closet. I'll go, and calm Semyonov yourself.

It doesn't take long to prepare these funny scenes for schoolchildren. Words are very easy to learn, and in some places you can even improvise. By the way, such humorous scenes are well suited for a summer camp. Before going to bed, you can have fun and reminisce about school.

See also funny poems about school for kids. The advantages of our funny sketches are that they do not need costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and those who play the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be attached to a magazine), they do not need to be rehearsed for a long time. Moreover, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes by looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also see School Humor.

1. Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"

Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever goes to answer first, he will receive a point higher.
Disciple Ivanov (pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!

Teacher: Your composition about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov's!
Disciple Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!

Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful composition, but why is it not finished?
Disciple Sidorov: Because dad was urgently summoned to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, confess, who wrote the essay for you?
Disciple Koshkin: I don't know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Disciple Klevtsov: Grandpa? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.

Teacher: What kind of word "egg", Sinichkin?
Disciple Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch out of him: a rooster or a chicken.

Teacher: Petushkov, define the gender of the words: "chair", "table", "sock", "stocking".
Pupil Petushkov: "Table", "chair" and "sock" are masculine, and "stocking" is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!

Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and sort out the sentence.
Pupil Smirnov goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: "Daddy went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Disciple Smirnov: Dad is the subject, he left is the predicate, to the garage is ... an excuse.

Teacher: Who guys can come up with a proposal with homogeneous members?
Tyulkina's student pulls out her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.

Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the number "three".
Disciple Sobakin: My mother works at a knitted fabric factory.

Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the blackboard, write down a sentence.
Pupil Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies with nets.
Pupil Rubashkin writes: The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Disciple Rubashkin: Why?
Teacher: Where did you see the bespectacled butterflies?

Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Disciple Meshkov: What is it? Dryish!

Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat is thin, crying is laughing, day is night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Disciple Petushkov: A cat is a dog.
Teacher: What does the "cat-dog" have to do with it?
Disciple Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.

Teacher: Sidorov, why are you eating apples in class?
Disciple Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Disciple Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Disciple Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?

Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, bell!

2. Scene "Correct answer"

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Disciple: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Disciple: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Disciple: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is that?
Disciple: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Disciple: No, it shouldn't be a plum.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Disciple: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Disciple: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Disciple: How much is correct?
Teacher: But now I will put the correct answer to you in my diary!
(I. Butman)

3. Scene "Our cases"

Characters: teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
The teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was guiltily silent, and then made a promise to improve. "
The student writes dictation on the blackboard.
Teacher: Great! Underline all nouns in your story.
The student underlines the words: "dad", "mom", "Vova", "behavior", "Vova", "promise".
Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Disciple: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Disciple: “Dad and Mom”. Who? What? Parents. Hence, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. Hence, the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, and the “promise” is, of course, in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Take the diary, Petrov. I wonder what grade you would suggest to put yourself?
Disciple: Which one? Of course, the top five!
Teacher: Five, then? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Disciple: In the prepositional!
Teacher: Prepositional? Why is that?
Disciple: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)

4. Scene "At the lessons of mathematics"

Characters: teacher and class students

Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I don’t know what you can become?
Disciple Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!

Teacher: Going to the blackboard to solve the problem ... Trushkin.
Pupil Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Disciple Trushkin heads to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going ?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are sweets!

Teacher: Petrov, bring your diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.
Disciple Petrov: I don't have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Disciple Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!

Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know mathematics!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!

Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, how many will it be three times seven?
Disciple Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!

Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Disciple Ivanov: But mom has no free time!

Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get down to business.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you cheating from Terentyev?
Disciple Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he writes it off from me, and I'm just checking to see if he did it right!

Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer me, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.

5. Scene "At the lessons of natural history"

Characters: teacher and class students

Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Pupil Petrov pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer me, Petrov.
Disciple Petrov: Tiger, tigress and ... three tiger cubs.

Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Pupil Kosichkina: These are forests in which ... it's good to doze.

Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Disciple Simakov: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, tell us, please, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.

Teacher: Petrov, what book have you read about famous travelers?
Pupil Petukhov: "The Traveling Frog"

Teacher: Who will answer, what is the difference between the sea and the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.

Student Zaitsev pulls out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Do you want to ask something?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from a monkey?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That's what I'm looking at: there are so few monkeys!

Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the lifespan of a mouse?
Disciple Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.

Teacher: He will go to the blackboard ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.
Pupil Meshkov (going to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you are saying! Is it possible?
Disciple Meshkov: It happens! For example, Monday to Wednesday is two days, and Wednesday to Monday is five!

Teacher: Khomyakov, tell me, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.

Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because I am terribly worried lest the call interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.

Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird flies with a straw in its beak?
Pupil Belkov pulls his hand above everyone else.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Disciple Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Teplyakova, which teeth are the last to appear in a person?
Teplyakova's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately put an A with a plus. And the question is: "Why is European time ahead of American time?"
Pupil Klyushkin pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Disciple Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!

6. Scene "Folder under the arm"

Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder on the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother told me to.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! And it's really funny.
Vovka (surprised): What's so funny? I haven’t even begun to tell.
Andrey (laughing): The folder ... under the arm! Good idea. Your folder won't fit under your arm, it's not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? The folder is daddy's. You have forgotten how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Oh, I guessed it! Grandpa - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, and also teaches. Now it's clear: dad's folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, you thought it great - funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn't listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Moreover, he dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller he found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?
(I. Semerenko)

7. Scene "3 = 7 and 2 = 5"

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: Why?
Teacher: For the whole year you did nothing, did not teach anything. I don’t know what to put in the list.
Petrov (looking gloomily at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you? What is it?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and ... I proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Veliky Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanitch! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is equal to only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I've proven that three is seven!
Teacher: How is it?
Petrov: Look, 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 = 0 - also true. Hence, 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We carry out the common factors: 3 (5-5) = 7 (5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Aha! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... you can't sin!
Teacher: I see. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We carry out the common factors: 5 (4-4) = 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don't worry, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2 = 5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put "2", is it all the same. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn't matter, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it is better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to a five!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)

8. Scene "Schoolboy and Salesman"

Characters: student and shop assistant

Sales assistant: What can you tell you?
Schoolboy: The reign of Nicholas II?
Sales assistant: Not in the know.
Schoolboy: Okay ... Pythagorean Theorem?
Sales assistant:… (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales assistant: (sighing) I don't know ...
Schoolboy: Well, what are you trying to do with your “What can I tell you?” !!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)

9. Scene "Schoolchildren at the stadium"

Characters: students and the stadium informant

A group of young fans, led by the leader, loudly chants:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly, the voice of the informant in the stadium turns on:
Informant's voice: Attention young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
"SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!" "SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!"
(KVN team from Ryazan)

10. Scene "Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnipro in cool weather"

Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov

Hello Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Ouch, deeds of power.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I say, schA one wick blasted this. Rolls to the shket. Give, he says, is great to drive. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And he lets show off. He opened his mitten. Yes, how he fights. Himself with a black eye. The teacher was almost crazy, but he was great. Into the rzhaka. Cool, isn't it?
- Was there a horse?
- What horse?
- Well, that was laughing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Well, you didn’t understand anything?
- Come on, let's start all over again.
- Well, let's. So one wick ...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- And what is this wick?
- Well, one guy, a long one, drove up to the shket ...
- What did he ride on a bicycle?
- No, the school had a bicycle.
- Which shket?
- Well, one shibzdik. Yes, you know him, he walks here with such a schnobel.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with anyone, but with what, his nose is in the form of a schnobel. Well, let him, he says, is great to drive. He sat down and scratched.
- Did he itch something?
- No, he sawed.
- Well, how, sawed it?
- What did you saw?
- Well, great?
- How?
- Well, by this very, shnobel?
- No, the shnobel was at the school. And at the wick there was a fingal, he hit him in the head, and he began to wander around. He had opened his mitten, so he fidgeted.
- And why a mitten, he fidgeted in winter?
- Yes, there was no winter, there was a teacher.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a fingal, that is, with a great, no, with coils. But the very rolling thing that the great giggled.
- How did you go?
- And so, covered himself. Into small pieces. Do you understand now?
- Understood. I realized that you do not know Russian at all.
- I don’t know!
- Do you imagine if everyone spoke the way you do, what would happen?
- What?
- Do you remember, at Gogol's. "The Dnieper is wonderful in calm weather, when it freely and smoothly rushes through forests and mountains full of its waters, it neither stutters nor thunders. You look and do not know whether its majestic width goes or does not go" and further "A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper".
- I remember.
- And now listen to how it sounds in your quirk language: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, wandering around and showing off, sawing its cool waves through forests and mountains. Doesn't shout, does not cover. you don’t know whether he is sawing or not. A rare bird with a schnobel will reach the middle of the Dnieper. Do you like?
- I like it, - he said and ran, shouting: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather."
(Lion Izmailov)

11. Young man in a nightclub

Characters: girl, young man, mother

A girl sits at the bar. A young man approaches her.

Young man: Hello baby! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there is a little.
YOUNG MAN: Can you come with me? I will arrange an unforgettable evening for you!
GIRL: Sounds. But my mother is waiting for me at 23-00 at home.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Give it up! Are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom? Ha!

Suddenly, someone's hand confidently takes the young man by the ear. Everyone can see that this is the hand of an aged woman.

YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, Mom! I AM…
MOM: I don’t want to hear it! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)

12. Radiologist's office

Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist

Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor is sitting at the table.
A little boy and grandmother enter the office.

GRANDMA (pointing to the boy). I rummaged through everything, there are no glasses anywhere. I think he swallowed them. All in your grandfather!
RAYGENOLOGIST (to the boy). Have you swallowed grandma's glasses?
The boy doesn't answer.
GRANDMOTHER. Partisan! All in your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and through and find out everything.
GRANDMA (joyfully). Yeah, got caught! To have such a thing at home.
X-RAY GENOLOGIST (examines the photograph). Well, well, well ... you know ... he has not only glasses here, but also a wallet with money. I can't say for sure, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, we do not need someone else's. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can't watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, lifts him by the legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall out onto the floor.
GRANDMA (grabs glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don't even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
X-RAYGENOLOGIST (turns the wallet in his hands). Do not. But the wallet, if possible, I will keep as a keepsake.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, not ours, we do not need someone else's.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
X-RAYER (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)

Characters:
Dad: Serpent Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Mathematics teacher: Leshy
Geography Teacher: Kikimora
Botany Trainer: Witch
Homeroom teacher: Water

SERPENT GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher's room):
... Yes, I told him a hundred times! ..
Well, what did he do again?

Leshy:
Multiplied minus with sine -
Got a minus one!

KIKIMORA:
Mixed up albinos
With albatrosses ...

WITCH:
Threw apricots ...

KIKIMORA:
Threw bubbles! ..

Leshy:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!

KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And he infected everyone with a yawn!

WATER:
But yesterday
Dragged into class
Hippo !!!

Leshy:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!

BABA YAGA (oily):
Maybe give him poison? ..
Or thrown to the wolves?
AM -
And there is no bad student!

KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our century
Such measures are outdated.

Leshy:
A hundred years ago
We would have it,
Certainly,
Have eaten ...
But now
We have
Not too many students
In reserve...

WATER:
I agree!
We will not resort
To extreme measures.

WITCH:
Let's try to captivate him
A good example.

SERPENT GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmm ... Less, more ...
That is - more or less! ..
And yet...

WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example will not work ...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!

BABA YAGA:
Oh, how much trouble with children! ..

DRAGON:
Lock him in the closet - let him teach lessons!
And if she doesn't stop yawning ...

ALL WELL:
We will turn it
Into chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)

14. Regime of the day

Characters:

Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya

PETER:
- Do you, Vova, know what a regime is?

VOVA:
- Certainly! Mode ... Mode - this is where I want, I jump there.

PETER:
- Not properly! Regime is the routine of the day. Are you doing it?

VOVA:
- I even overfulfill it.

PETER:
- Like this?

VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I have to walk twice a day, and I walk four!

PETER:
- No, you are not overfulfilling it, but violating it! Do you know what your daily routine should be?

VOVA:
- I know! Rise. Charger. Washing. Bed cleaning. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.

PETER:
- Good.

VOVA:
- And it could be even better.

PETER:
- How is it?

VOVA:
- Like this! Rise. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.

PETER:
- Oh no. With this regime, you will become a lazy and ignorant.

VOVA:
- Will not work.

PETER:
- Why?

VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we carry out the whole regime.

PETER:
- How is it with your grandmother?

VOVA:
- And so. Half of it is done by me, and half by my grandmother. And together we get the whole regime.

PETER:
- I do not understand!

VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lift. The grandmother is doing the exercises. Washing - grandma. Bed cleaning - grandma. Breakfast - me. The walk is me. Preparing lessons - me and my grandmother. The walk is me. Lunch - me.

PETER:
- Aren't you ashamed ?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.

https: // site / smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej /

15. About Pushkin

Two duelists are facing each other. One of them is Pushkin.

Second: Come on together!

Pushkin and his adversary raise their pistols. Suitable for barriers. Pushkin's opponent makes a shot. Pushkin is wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.

Pushkin: For what?

Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, they left me for the second year in literature !!!

16. School riddles

Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov

SCHOOLBOY (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing to a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is well, a slow-witted! Riddles here I came across interesting about school affairs, and the answers should be in rhyme. I, of course, guessed everything right away, and then Vovka decided to check for ingenuity.

SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: "Between two calls, the term is called ..."

VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!

SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that's right, "change" is appropriate, but there should be a clue to the rhyme!

VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, he said it was right, and then you start ...

SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me give you another riddle, just think before you say the answer. "The sportsman told us: Everyone should go to the sports ..."

VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts out):
Score!

SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? What for? Where did you see him?

VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? You need to buy new sneakers, otherwise my soles are already lagging behind on my left foot. And the Sporttovary store is right in front of the school. You saw him a hundred times too.

SCHOOLBOY (towards the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!

SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
But this riddle can you guess in rhyme? "Schools are not simple buildings, schools receive ..."

VOVKA SIDOROV:
On the head! Yesterday I hardly touched the bow at Lenka Petrova's, and she banged me over the head with a book.

SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to one more riddle: "And today I got a grade again ..."

VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts):
I again got a C and C in mathematics.

SCHOOLBOY (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well Vovka and a slow-witted! Well slow-witted! Although ... I look, his face is sly, cunning. Maybe he was kidding me? Today is April 1st !!!
(Leonid Medvedev)

17. About parents

A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.

Man: Hello dear! ... Did our Mishka do his homework? … Yes? How is he in his diary? Good, yes?! So, did he clean the room ?! Crap! Did you eat the soup ?! Nothing ... I just went to the store, and then the sale of belts!

Scene "Whose help is better?"

King.

Alina, Polina, Evelina - the king's daughters.

King(to daughters). Today I walked through our palace and was simply horrified: a complete mess! Books are lying on the floor, shoes are on the windowsills, and clothes are on the beds! And everywhere - candy wrappers! So I decided to start cleaning today. And I want to ask you: how will you help me?

Alina. Here's how I can help. When you start cleaning up, I'll turn on the turntable and play your favorite Kings Can Do Anything. With this funny song, you will instantly clean up!

Pauline. I'd rather turn on the TV. The program "Visiting a Fairy Tale" will be shown there. I will carefully watch it and retell everything to you. And you will clean up the entire palace fabulously quickly!

King(addressing Evelina with a sigh). What will you turn on?

Evelina. I'll turn on the vacuum cleaner. No, first I will put all the things in their places. Then I'll take a broom and sweep out all the trash. Then I will remove the dust with a vacuum cleaner. After that, wipe the windowsills and all the furniture with a damp cloth. And when everything is clean, we will all sit down and watch TV.

King... Well, now I have learned that I have only one real assistant!

Scene "At the Doctor"

Characters

A student with a briefcase stands in front of the doctor's office. He is indecisive.

Student. What to do? To go or not to go? What if he kicks out? No I'm not going. Yes, and the test? No, we have to go. Was not! (He takes a towel out of his briefcase and ties it around his head. Then he knocks on the door.)

Doctor. Yes, yes, come in!

Student(included). Can?

Doctor(writes something, then stops writing, looks at the student). Come in, come in, sit down. What are you complaining about?

Student. On a very bad state of health.

Doctor... Specifically, what hurts?

Student... Head. Stomach. The ear is blocked. I hear nothing and understand nothing. Then, this, dizziness, pressure and palpitations.

Doctor. The temperature is?

Student. Yes, yes! Thirty eight and eight. Or forty-four and four. I do not remember.

Doctor. It's clear. Do you remember your last name?

Student... No, I don't remember ... I forgot.

Doctor. Forgot your name too?

Student... Yeah. And middle name. Because my head hurts.

Doctor. And in which class do you study, and at which school - have you forgotten too?

Student... Class ... it seems the sixth "u". And I completely forgot the school.

Doctor. OK. Open the horn wider and say: "A-a-a".

Student. A-a-algebra.

Doctor. What is "algebra"? Test, or what, today?

Student. No, tomorrow. Oh no, I don't remember.

Doctor. Hmm yes. (Looks at the student over his glasses.) A very difficult case! You can't go to school. We'll have to sit at home for two weeks.

Student(gladly). Houses?

Student... What about English?

Doctor. It is forbidden!

Student... And what about geography?

Doctor. In no case!

Student. Can you go to the movies?

Doctor. Didn't I say? Necessarily! Twice a day - morning and afternoon!

Student. Many thanks!

Doctor. To your health! Everything. You can go.

Student. Goodbye. Oh, what about the help?

Doctor... What kind of help?

Student... Exemption from school. You didn't give me!

Doctor... Ah, liberation. No, unfortunately it won't work!

Student. Why?

Doctor... How can I write you a certificate if I don't know your name, surname, or the school in which you study!

Student. Oh, I seem to be starting to remember.

Doctor... Well done! What's the last name?

Student. Kotikov.

Student. Vasya! That is, Vasily Yegorovich.

Doctor... Very good, now remember the class, school.

Student. Sixth "b" grade, school number twenty-five.

Doctor... Now remember about algebra.

Student... What kind of algebra?

Doctor. About the one for which tomorrow is the test. Remembered?

Student. I remembered.

Doctor... Wonderful! You see how you quickly recovered from me! And you don't even need any help! Or is it still necessary? Headmaster of school number twenty-five?

Student... No need.

Doctor. Then bye. Vasily Kotikov. Yes, do not forget to remove the turban from your head, it does not suit you!

The student removes the towel from his head and leaves.

Scene "Grandmothers and Grandchildren"

Characters

Two grandmothers.

First grandmother... Hello my dear! Let's go for a walk in the park.

Second grandmother... What are you, I haven't done my homework yet.

First grandmother. Which lessons?

Second grandmother... It is now fashionable to do homework for grandchildren. I just want to try, although this is probably not pedagogical.

First grandmother... Why is it not pedagogical? Yes, I have been doing my homework for my grandchildren all my life. If anything - ask me, I have a lot of experience.

Second grandmother... Well, if it’s not difficult, check how I learned the poem: "By the lukomorye a green oak, a golden chain on that oak ..."

First grandmother. So good.

Second grandmother... "... Both day and night the dog is a scientist ..."

First grandmother. What other dog?

Second grandmother... Well, I don't know what breed he has, maybe a Doberman Pinscher?

First grandmother... Yes, not a dog, but a scientist cat! Understood?

Second grandmother... Ah, I got it, I got it! Well, then I’ll start first: "By the seashore there is a green oak, a golden chain on that oak, and day and night, a scientist cat ... with a string bag goes to the grocery store."

First grandmother... What string bag? Which grocery store? Study the poem again.

Second grandmother. Oh, I still have so many lessons! One grandson is in the sixth grade and the other is in the first. His teacher asked to bring the cash register to the school.

First grandmother. What cashier? From the store, or what? Don't involve me in this business!

Second grandmother. Well, what does the store have to do with it? The cash register is the alphabet. Okay, I'll do it myself, and you help me solve the problem.

First grandmother. So ... (takes the textbook, reads) "... two pipes are connected to the bathroom ..." Remember, in order to solve a problem, you need to have a good idea of ​​what it says. "There are two rude ones connected to the bathroom ..." - did you imagine?

Second grandmother... Yes, yes, I did.

First grandmother."... Through one water is poured in, through the other poured out." Introduced?

Second grandmother... Introduced! (Running away) Introduced-ah-ah!

First grandmother... Wait! Where are you running to?

Second grandmother... Water is pouring out! Can fill the whole floor ...

First grandmother... Take it easy. In fact, no water is poured out. This is stated only in the problem! Now tell me, when will the bath be filled?

Second grandmother. Will never fill up. They themselves said - the water is not pouring ...

First grandmother. Goodbye. You will get to the hospital with you. And I still have not done my homework: an experiment in botany needs to be done - to grow beans.

Second grandmother... And, yes, yes, I remember you took the beans from me.

First grandmother... Yes, these beans are not growing! Apparently poor quality ...

Second grandmother. How substandard? Well, do good to people! You can say that she tore off the beans and took them out of the soup.

First grandmother... Wait, wait, how - from the soup? It turns out I was the one who raised the boiled beans? Thank you, made me feel good ...

Second grandmother... Well, I didn't know why you need beans, don't be offended!

First grandmother... What do you think, if we continue to study so hard, maybe they will give us some grade?

Second grandmother(in a whisper). Between us, it has already been placed.

First grandmother. Yes? And what is the assessment?

Second grandmother."Col"!

First grandmother... Why such a bad grade?

Second grandmother... For the fact that we are not doing our own thing.

First grandmother... Adults do everything for the guys, and then they are surprised: "Oh, they grow up with little hands! .."

The old ladies leave.

Scene "Enchanted letter"

Characters

Denis. Once Alenka, Mishka and I were playing in the yard. It was before the New Year. A Christmas tree was brought to our yard. She lay big, shaggy and smelled so deliciously of frost that we stood there like fools and smiled. And suddenly Alenka said:

Alenka... Look, there are SEUs hanging on the tree!

Denis. Mishka and I started rolling!

bear... Oh, I'll die laughing! Search!

Denis... Well, it gives: detectives!

Bear. Five years old girl, but she says "detectives". Oh, I can't! Oh, I feel bad! Oh, water! Give me water soon! I'm going to faint now! (Falls, laughs.)

Denis... Oh, I even started to hiccup with laughter! Hic! Hic! I'll probably die now! The girl is already five years old, soon to marry, and she - detectives!

Alenka(offended). Did I say that correctly! It's my tooth that fell out and whistles. I want to say "detectives," but my whistle is "detectives."

bear... Just think! Her tooth fell out! .. I fell out as many as three and one is staggering, but I still speak correctly. Listen here: hyhki! What? Isn't that great? HUHKI! I can even sing:

Mihka clubfoot

Walking through the forest

Hykhki collects

And puts it in his pocket.

Alenka(shouts). A-ah-ah! Not properly! Hooray! You say "hyhki", but it is necessary - "detectives"!

bear... No, you have to - "hyhki"!

Alenka... No, "detectives"!

Bear. No, "hyhki"!

Alenka. No, "detectives"! (Obarevut.)

Denis. I laughed so hard that I even got hungry. I'll go home. What weirdos! Why are they arguing so, since both are wrong? After all, this is a very simple word. No "investigations", no "huhki", but short and clear: "phyfki"! That's all.

Based on materials from the Yeralash newsreel

Scene "Day of Help for Parents"

Characters

Anton. Mum.

Three classmates of Anton.

Anton appears on the stage. He wipes the dust with a rag, sweeps the floor with a brush, dancing at the same time and singing: "My baby, I miss you ...".

Mom enters in outer clothes, freezes in place.

Mum. Anton, what happened?

Anton. Nothing happened, Mom. Let me help you undress. (Helps to take off the jacket.)

Mom enters the room, notices that the dust has been wiped off.

Mum... Did you dust off? Myself?

Anton... Myself.

Mum. Tell me honestly, Anton, what happened?

Anton... Nothing happened.

Mum. Am I called to school?

Anton... Not...

Mom walks across the room, notices that the floor has been swept.

Mum... Did you sweep the floor? Myself?! Incredible ... (Places a hand to her forehead, checking for a fever.)

Anton... Mom, don't worry. I washed the dishes and did my homework.

Mum... I have done my homework ... I beg you, Anton, tell me what happened after all? (Grabs his heart, sits on a chair.)

Anton... Well, I tell you: nothing happened! The doorbell rings. Three children enter.

1st... Good evening! How was your Parenting Day?

2nd. Hack, cleanliness, order. I wiped the dust, swept the floor ...

3rd(opens magazine). Check mark! (She ticks the box with a pencil.)

Anton. Helping Parents Day, Helping Parents Day! Here, look at what your Parenting Day has brought a person to! (Points to Mom.)

Children surround their mother on all sides.

1st(vigorously). Valerian! Water! (Counts drops.) 23, 24, 25! (Gives mom a drink) How nervous all mothers are! It was necessary first to explain that it was only for one day and tomorrow everything would be the same!

Scene "Pro kitten who could not read"

Characters

Yasha is a kitten.

Once Murka's cat, Yashin's mother, said to the kitten:

Murka. It's time for you, Yasha, to learn to read.

Yasha. I will have time yet!

Murka. There is nothing to be lazy about. Let's start right now. Sit down, I'll show you the letters.

Yasha sits down reluctantly.

Murka... Let's start with the simplest letter - "O". (Shows the letter "O".)

Yasha. Some kind of circle ...

Murka. Yes, it looks like a circle. This letter is called "O". Repeat!

Yasha. This letter is called "O". What words contain this letter?

Murka... In many. For example, in the words "cat" and "cat". (Shows cards with words written on them.)

Yasha. And in the word "kitten"?

Murka. And in the word "kitten" there are even two letters "O". Look. (Shows a card with a written word.)

Yasha... See see! Two mugs! And three? Are there three letters "O" in words?

Murka. Certainly. There is such a good word - "milk". (Shows a card.)

Yasha. Truth! As many as three circles! Does the word "ice cream" have this letter?

Murka... There is. And also three. Look. (Shows a card.)

Yasha... Good word! And in two ice creams, it means six letters "O". And in three ...

Murka. Don't talk nonsense! And in general, we do not have arithmetic now! That's all for today. Go to walk!

Yasha. What a nice letter! And it happens in the nicest words! And the most delicious!

Yasha walks up to a screen on which hangs a sign with the inscription: “Caution! Angry dog!"

Yasha. What a beautiful sign! And it has three words written on it ... And in the first word, whole ... one, two, three, four ... Wow!

As many as four letters "O"! Blimey! Probably, there is something very tasty or pleasant here! ..

The kitten looks behind the screen. A deafening bark is heard from there. Yasha jumps out from behind the screen, tears off the sign and runs to his mother.

Murka(seeing an agitated Yasha). What's the matter? Why are you so disheveled and shaking all over? What happened?

Yasha. Mom, I was walking, I saw a fence, there was a beautiful plate on the fence (he hands the plate to mom), three words are written on it, and in the first word there are four letters "O"! I thought that there must be something very tasty or pleasant ...

Murka. So! I understand everything! This is what happens when you can't read! Do you know what is written on this plate? "Carefully! Angry dog!".

Yasha... Yes, it is written correctly, the dog is really angry ... You know what, mom, let's learn the rest of the letters!

Scenario "Word game"

Characters

Petya is a son.

Two boys - one older, the other younger - go on stage, sit on chairs. In the hands - pictures and pencils.

Peter... Dad, draw something for me.

Dad... No, we will draw in turns and play words at the same time.

Peter... Like this?

Dad... That's how. We will come up with words for some letter and depict these words with pictures. Take the letter "P" for example. I start. (Draws a portfolio, shows.)

Peter. It's clear. And I will draw ... (draws a steam locomotive).

Dad. Well done! The locomotive is like a real one! And I came up with this ... (draws and shows the belt).

Peter. But the belt is not allowed! He's not the letter "P"!

Dad... And this is not a belt, but a belt!

Peter. Great idea! Then I will draw ... (draws and shows the cat).

Dad. But the cat cannot be, it is not in the letter "P"!

Peter... And this is not just a cat, but Fluff!

Dad... Oh, you sly fellow! Okay. I will draw ... (draws and shows a portrait).

Peter. Who is this?

Dad... This is nobody. It's just a portrait.

Peter. Great. And I will draw ... (draws and shows the uncle).

Dad... Who's that?

Peter. This is nobody. It's just a passerby.

Dad... Well done! And I'll draw a parrot. (Draws and shows.)

Peter... Great! And I'll draw a penguin. (Draws and shows.)

Dad... Look. (Shows the boy in the picture.)

Peter. Who is this? If it’s a boy, it doesn’t count.

Dad. Didn't you recognize? After all, this is Petya, that is, you!

Peter... Now I found out! And I will draw ... (draws and shows the uncle).

Dad. Who is this? If it’s an uncle, it doesn’t count!

Peter... Didn't you recognize? This is dad, that is, you!

Dad... Now I found out. Here's what I came up with. (Draws and shows a woman) This is our mother. I drew her because she is a teacher and she teaches singing.

Peter. Great! Here's what I came up with! (Draws and shows the calendar.)

Dad... The calendar? Why?

Dad... Right. And on this day we will present to her ... (draws a gift and flowers).

Peter... A gift is understandable. And the flowers? They are not in the letter "P" ...

Dad... So what? All the same, mom will be pleased!

You need to develop artistry in kids from early childhood. Short sketches will help in this. Funny for children, stories should be instructive and understandable, but at the same time educate important character traits.

The fable is the basis for the script of the scene

It is known that the most instructive literary work is a fable. Only in this genre, the obligatory point is the presence of morality - an important main conclusion from what has been said. Therefore, some scenes that are funny for children are often based on the plots of famous fables.

The works of Ivan Andreevich Krylov are available for understanding by preschoolers. These are Monkey and Glasses, Squirrel, Crow and Fox, Tit, Dragonfly and Ant, Quartet, Swan, Cancer and Pike.

Today there are a lot of alterations of the famous fables in a new way. For example, at the end of the story of the fox and the raven, cheese does not fall into the mouth of the cunning flatterer. The wise crow puts it in its paw and answers the fox that "she can sing, that's true, but it is not yet the time and place for a concert."

Methods of presenting fables on stage

Do not think that playing on stage is available only to adult children. If you get down to business creatively, then you can cope with the strength of even the smallest.

There are four options for presenting the scene. For example, episodes that are funny for children can be played out without the author's words. Then the children speak only the words of the characters. The second option would be to read the words of the author to an adult. The third option is suitable for older children, when the whole fable is a role-playing reading with a demonstration of the plot's actions. But very little ones can become artists without even knowing how to speak properly. Then the entire text is read by an adult, and the kids are pantomime depicting the plot in front of the audience.

Fairy tale and irony - twin sisters

Hardly anyone did not like listening to fairy tales in childhood. Many short works of this genre can be easily turned into ironic scenes. Scenarios funny for children are obtained from the fairy tales "Silly Hans" by Andersen, "Hedgehogs laugh" and "Brave tailors" by Korney Chukovsky, as well as others. Short stories told by the wonderful poet Chukovsky can easily turn into funny and funny scenes for kindergarten.

A fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it!

Sometimes it can be difficult to choose a story to stage. And if you play the fairy tale "How the hare became the ruler of the jungle" about how the scythe deceived a huge lion, inviting him to fight a more powerful rival?

The point of the story is that the king of beasts was strong, but stupid. The hare was supposed to come to him for dinner according to the law, which was established in the jungle by the cruel lion king. But the scythe turned out to be sharp. He aroused in a cruel glutton anger at the one who was stronger than him. Taking his reflection in the river for a rival, he threw himself into the water and drowned.

Knowledge is power and laughter is a weapon against evil

You can change the ending of the story. Let our lion not drown in the river, but become a universal laughing stock. All the animals gathered on the banks of the river will laugh at the stupid beast. And the one at whom everyone laughs can no longer be the main one, whom you need to fear and obey. Knowledge and ingenuity are sometimes more important than strength and cruelty - this is the moral of this instructive story.

Any number of actors can take part in such a performance. You can diversify the action with a small concert, with which the animals decide to please their bunny friend. Then the presentation will contain several performances. These will be children's scenes, funny, short, in which the actors will present the animals and their relationships.

Fairy tales in a new way

Children love to act out funny mini-scenes. We can offer for these purposes well-known fairy tales, altered in a new way. And it's especially funny when heroes of different works are encountered in one story.

For example, it is easy to remake the famous story about Kolobok, supplementing it with the fairy tale “Ryaba Chicken”. Such confusions are very popular with kids, they laugh when they see that the usual heroes do not act as usual and find themselves in ridiculous situations.

“My grandfather and grandmother lived in the same village, they had a chicken named Ryaba. Here the chicken laid an egg, but not a simple one, but ... from the dough! And the testicle has eyes, a nose, a mouth. "Who are you? What is your name?" - asked the grandmother. “I am a Gingerbread Man - a ruddy side, rich as a cake, sweet as ice cream! And now you are my grandmother and grandfather, you must love and pamper me! " The grandfather and grandmother were delighted, rushed to pamper Kolobok. They offer him all sorts of delicious things: yoghurts and chupa-chups, juices and fruits. And Kolobok refuses everything, wants to go for a walk in the forest. "You can't, granddaughters, ride in the woods, there the cunning fox will catch you and eat you!" - warns his grandfather. "I myself have a mustache!" - Gingerbread man answered and drove off.

It rolls, rolls, and a chanterelle meets him. "Who are you?" - she asks Kolobok. And he tell her: "I was born from a chicken, her son, then!" The fox was surprised, she had never seen such a chicken. And I thought it was some kind of abnormal chicken, inedible. And he contrived, jumped on the fox's back and, well, drive her, to the house of the old man with the old woman!

Grandfather and grandmother are sitting, grieving: "Our granddaughter is gone, the fox will eat him!" And the chicken Ryaba consoles them: "Don't cry, my dears, I'll lay you another egg, not made of dough, but a normal one!" Only grandfather and grandmother do not want normal, they want to see their Kolobok - they have already fallen in love with him. And they began to cry bitterly for him.

And then suddenly they hear - someone is galloping in the yard. They looked out and laughed: Gingerbread man riding a fox! What a scream!

They caught the redhead by the tail and put her on a chain in the yard: “You will guard the house instead of the dog. Enough for you to offend defenseless animals in the forest! "

Short scenes for the camp

Vanya Palkin sits in front of an aquarium in a living corner. He lowered the fishing rod into it and begs the goldfish: “Small fish, make me the strongest in the camp, so that I can knock Petka Samokhin down with one blow! And also make me the most beautiful so that Lyuska Morozova will fall in love with me without memory! And I also want to become the smartest so that I can beat everyone at the What, Where, When Olympiad! " The head of the camp passes by. He saw such an outrage and said: “Vanya, get away from the fish! She is not magical, but ordinary! " And then the fish gives a voice: “That's it, I’ve been telling him about this for 2 hours, but he doesn’t understand anything! They read, damn it, Pushkin, there is no peace from them ... "

To act out funny mini-scenes, you can use the plots of the Yeralash newsreel. Funny sideshows will delight both the audience and the performers themselves.

An unforgettable gift - a scene for a birthday boy

How nice it is when, in addition to the traditional offering, guests play funny scenes for their birthday! You can arrange an improvisation. No preparation is required for such a presentation.

In order for the improvised to be successful, it is enough to prepare the words for each character in advance, to print them on paper. It is also a good idea to choose accessories for outfits: scarves, glasses, hats, umbrellas, galoshes, masks, false beards, mustaches, wigs.

It's just that the dramatization of the tale "The Turnip" is going on with a bang. Here the words of the heroes play the main role. Participants in improvisation will need to, by condition, pronounce their phrase immediately after the words of the author, if he names a hero.

You can come up with cool words for each actor. For example, a grandfather will say: "Oh, if it weren't for the Internet, your grandfather would be a sprinter!" Granny can be given the words: "Botox, fitness and lipstick - what else does a grandmother need?" The granddaughter will constantly repeat: "Thicker turnips - we can earn more money!" etc. Certain funny gestures should accompany the words: let the grandfather hold on to his lower back and limp, holding the headphones from the player in his ears and twitching slightly to the beat of the music, the grandmother makes her eyes and flirtatiously adjusts the kerchief, and the granddaughter shows her hands a “fat turnip” in a figurative sense, that is huge cheeks.

What a holiday at school without sideshow?

Usually, all festive events in educational institutions are accompanied by an amateur concert. And funny school scenes occupy almost the main place in it.

The plots for these interludes can be taken from the works of Viktor Dragunsky. For example, the stories about the boys Denisk and Mishka make wonderful children's scenes. Funny short stories about the Misipisi River or about the invented exploits of friends saving children from fire and from under the ice are still relevant to this day, so the audience always likes them.

It is good if there are talented adolescents among schoolchildren who can write a script for a scene on their own, reflecting in the plot some incident that happened in reality. Of course, the names of the actors should be hidden, but the event itself can be displayed. It will be very relevant and interesting. By the way, school-themed interludes can be used as funny scenes for the camp, because even during the holidays, the guys remember about their studies.