Principles of effective communication. Communication is effective: principles, rules, skills, techniques. Conditions for Effective Communication Effective communication requires you to consider

When communication within a couple is effective, it helps lovers to get closer faster and thereby strengthen their relationship, plunging into an atmosphere of complete mutual understanding. But in fact, few couples achieve complete understanding, because they make typical mistakes that hinder effective communication.

Avoiding conflict

Avoiding conflict is, of course, also a way to resolve conflict situations, but it should be used only as a temporary measure and preferably as little as possible. Otherwise, discontent will grow, which will result in problems with communication and relationships in general. It is better to solve problems as they come, rather than postponing them for later.

Inability to accept criticism

There are people who do not know how to accept criticism in their address, and no, even constructive. But constructive criticism is helpful, it helps people improve, to become better, to grow above yourself. Be sure to learn to accept complaints and evaluate them objectively, and also ask family and friends for advice on how to get rid of your problem.

The habit of generalizing and exaggerating everything

As soon as something unpleasant happens, for example, a friend is late for a meeting, some people immediately exaggerate, saying: "You're always late". Or if someone could not keep a promise, he may hear in response: "You never keep your promises". This is a habit that prevents people from communicating effectively. Look at the world with a positive and do not judge a person by one of his actions.

The habit of thinking that only oneself is right

Arrogant people who always and everywhere consider only their own point of view to be correct, it is very difficult to communicate with other people. . Just because of their arrogance and excessive confidence that they are always right, although in reality they are often mistaken.

The habit of not listening to the interlocutor

It is very difficult to convey your idea to someone if he is thinking about something completely different, constantly distracted, cannot focus on the interlocutor who is trying to convey his thoughts to him. If you are constantly distracted, for example, thinking about what you will say when the interlocutor interrupts, you will not be able to properly think over his words, understand what he wanted. And the conversation will be empty and meaningless.

Rivalry

When there are disputes difficult situations, many try to show themselves with better side, and sometimes to the detriment of their friends, relatives, loved ones. They try to shield themselves, they criticize others for the lack of logic and everything else, but they are in no hurry to analyze the situation and build in logical chains. Rivalry interferes with effective communication, especially when it comes to communication and relationships between family members or best friends.

A fragment of Neil Fiore's book. Psychology of personal effectiveness. How to beat stress, stay focused and enjoy your work. - M.: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2013.

This book, written by an experienced psychologist, will allow you to look at your work from the outside, change your attitude to many things, and develop good habits that increase motivation and reduce stress.

Communication is needed in order to motivate, influence, educate, manage, convince,
and to unite for the sake of the mission of the organization and personal ideas and goals.
Tony Alessandra "The Platinum Rule"

Effective communication is, of course, necessary for the successful implementation of the goals of the organization. Distorted, misinterpreted messages are often the cause of defeat large companies, armies and nations. However, many managers, entrepreneurs, and business people still think that communication is all about giving orders, arguing, and making excuses. Whereas the first thing is active listening. As Americans joke, for New Yorkers, listening means waiting for their turn to speak.

Any seller knows that potential client you need to listen to understand his needs, and to maintain long-term cooperation, you should put yourself in his place, speak at the same pace and in the same phrases. In other words, a successful business is built on long-term customer relationships. When you provide them with quality service, a connection is established between you. After arguments or discussions, you move to another level, realizing that you have been heard, understood and friendly towards you. Deep interconnection is built on effective communications that form the loyalty of colleagues, subordinates and customers.

Effective or ineffective

  • Ineffective communication is arguing with others, aimed at protecting your goals and plans. It means there are winners and losers. This style of "communication" is rooted in a philosophy that divides the world in two: into "right and wrong", "victory and defeat" or "good and bad", without taking into account intermediate states. There is only one right opinion, so we can neglect the views and experiences of people who can enrich our knowledge of the world and form a complete picture. Instead, we constantly defend our narrow views. A pause in the conflict is considered a success, when the defender temporarily retreats. Disagreements eventually boil over into resistance, loss of team effectiveness, and even sabotage until a balance of power and respect is established.
  • Effective communication, in turn, aims to understand the views, feelings and opinions of others. When two parties listen to each other, both win. Mutual understanding and respect become the basis of cooperation, interdependence and loyalty. Success is achieved if each side says: “Yes, that's what I meant. Do you understand me".

Effective communication skills allow opposites to coexist - this is the highest ability to understand a different point of view and find a compromise. Why argue about who is right and who is wrong? The goal of effective communication is to build and protect relationships, support and working relationships that are mutually beneficial and therefore lasting.

By demonstrating a willingness to listen and understand the other person's position and feelings (without denying your own point of view), you create an atmosphere of security and approval that increases the likelihood of signing a lucrative contract or deal.

The Power of Active Listening

The power of active listening is most evident in the work of the customer service department and in negotiations. The better his staff works, the fewer complaints and more satisfied customers and repeat calls.

Well-trained department employees offer excellent service, learn to avoid disputes and try to smooth out conflict situations.

My effective communication training includes listening exercises that involve dividing the audience into subordinates (or clients) and managers (or employees of the service department). The initial goal is to listen to at least three sentences, and then paraphrase what was said until the speaker confirms that he has been heard and understood. When participants show that they share the client's frustration or annoyance, the client moderates their enthusiasm. One real customer even said, “Oh, you are so sweet. I thought you would argue with me or accuse me of lying.

Once at a seminar in construction company the engineers stopped talking and started arguing and looking for a solution to the problem even before the subordinate had finished the sentence. Even under conditions role play the discussion was quite heated. When you try to express your dissatisfaction and resentment, and they don’t listen to you, it’s very annoying.

It took several days of practice before the construction company employees learned to listen to ten sentences in a row and began to accurately paraphrase what the speaker was trying to say. Several participants in the training (mostly among the male audience) told me during the break that these sessions also help in communicating with my wife. To which I replied: “If you want to achieve more, insert the words “Go on” and “You are right” from time to time.

Naturally, active listening helps not only in personal relationships, but also in the work of the service department, in the field of personnel management, etc. In addition, if you listen carefully to the interlocutor, there is no time left to come up with counterarguments or justify your position . Preoccupation with speech shows approval and allows the speaker to feel comfortable and open up even more. And that means more satisfied customers, repeat referrals, and more sales. Effective communication skills directly affect the profits of any business.

Effective Communication Exercises

Participants in my trainings know that the more relevant the topic and the more emotional the discussion, the more relentlessly they need to follow the guidelines for achieving mutually beneficial communication. The process of attentive and active listening proceeds much more naturally if these rules are applied several times in practice.

  • Decide how long each of you will talk continuously.
  • Look at each other and observe facial expressions and gestures. You should not be separated by foreign objects, and the distance between you should be comfortable, about a meter and a half.
  • Determine who speaks first. While one expresses a thought, the other listens attentively and observes. The listener concentrates on the words of the interlocutor, his intonation and body movements, in order to then retell the message. The speaker stops after three to five phrases - just enough for the listener to catch the meaning, and not so much to forget the essence of what was said.
  • The listener retells the words, describes the gestures and facial expressions of the speaker without any interpretation or correction. If the speaker took too high a pace, the listener can interrupt him with the words:
  • "Wait a minute, let me make sure I understand what you said earlier."
  • After the listener has stated his version, the speaker points out what he is right about, corrects mistakes and confirms that he was heard and caught verbal and non-verbal messages.
  • The exercise continues until the speaker has finished and feels satisfied that they have been understood. Then the participants change roles (you can even switch places) and repeat everything from the beginning.

To retell someone's thought requires attention to the speaker's words, his intonation and gestures. You must provide feedback in the form of a quintessential verbal and non-verbal cues. When expressing the thoughts of the interlocutor, you pursue the following goals:

  • Focus on the other person instead of judging, arguing, or looking for a solution.
  • Show respect and a sincere attempt to understand.
  • Check if everything is understood correctly.
  • Allow the interlocutor to clarify the meaning of the above, as well as to find out other meanings of the appeal. For example, you could say, "Your words sound offended, but your intonation and clenched fist make me think I'm probably even angry."

Use this guide at least once, and then refer to it as needed. The main thing is to listen to each other, not to argue. Companies that have adopted active listening skills easily sweep away the barriers that interfere with communication, negotiations, and productive teamwork.

Communication principles

You communicate continuously

In order for your silence or gestures to be interpreted correctly, it is better to immediately communicate your physical and emotional state.

“If you think I'm a little unassembled, don't take it personally. I just got a terrible cold."

“It’s hard for me to talk about my feelings. I'm afraid this will destroy our relationship, but I'm very angry that you didn't support me in the meeting."

Hearing does not mean understanding

Try not to think obviously bad about the character or intentions of others and ask them to clarify the thought if you doubt the meaning of a particular message or gesture.

“I think I understand your point, but for greater certainty, it’s better to repeat.”

“Perhaps I wrote down the time of the meeting incorrectly. I was expecting you at 9 am."

Communication is not complete until the listener confirms you are right

Compare the two dialogues.

  • Completely agree with you. Looking forward to walking in the park.
  • Beautiful day, isn't it?
  • Did you watch the Los Angeles Lakers game yesterday?

The speaker must make sure that the listener understands him.

Put yourself in his place. Try to feel the cultural context of the listener. Pay attention to linguistic and semantic differences.

“You look puzzled. Maybe I didn't express myself clearly?

“Excuse me, I want to make sure you understand what I mean. Let me explain in a different way."

Use the pronoun "I"

Do not retreat from your subjective truth, your problem and your goals. For example:

“I ran into one problem: I want to promote you, but I can’t because you are late and don’t turn in projects on time.”

Try not to climb into the soul, do not analyze and do not dictate your will. Do not speak:

"How can! You're always late (forgetting, taking it to heart)."

Avoid sarcasm and jokes during a serious discussion. When expressing resentment, anger, or disappointment, insert the pronoun "I". For example:

“I don’t care about sarcasm. If you are angry, tell me directly, and stop repeating that I do not understand jokes or take everything to heart.

No mutual complaints

Communication is most effective when it focuses on one speaker or one issue. Give up any excuses. The person complaining should be:

  • heard;
  • understood;
  • convinced that you are on the way to a compromise, even before the listener answers and retells his words.

Plan for cooldowns and moments of emotional outburst

When the arguments are exhausted and start to go in circles, it is better to take a break and calm down.

“Are you comfortable talking now? Can we reschedule to 9pm?

Different communication styles and preferences

Communication fails for a number of reasons, among which one of the main ones is the difference in styles, cultures and preferences. Although in general this is a given, not a problem. Business people simply need to have excellent communication skills.

Personal styles and preferences in communication can be positioned on the axes of coordinates as follows: direct vs. indirect and task-oriented vs. person-oriented.

Four communication styles and personality types:

  1. Direct and task oriented: directors, managers, presidents.
  2. Direct and human-oriented: salespeople and PR people.
  3. Indirect and task oriented: accounting and technical staff.
  4. Indirect and people-oriented: HR managers and administrative staff.

Every team should have all personality types and communication styles (see Table 4.1). These are generalized categories; in fact, relationships, styles and preferences in communication intersect and combine. But the table reminds of their difference. Remember that difference is a given, not a problem.

Styles of perception of information

In addition to different communication styles, your subordinates, partners and clients perceive information differently, that is, everyone sees, hears and interprets it in their own way. One communications expert, former Oakland Raiders football head coach John Madden once said, “Some players just need to explain the scheme of the game and they will understand. Others do not need to say anything, but it is better to draw on the board. And the third ones need to be explained, drawn, and they still won’t understand until they run across the field themselves.”

Madden graduated as a teacher and, at 42, became the youngest coach to achieve 100 wins in a season. In practice, he was faced with the fact that some perceive information by ear (audials), others visually (visuals), and others physically (kinesthetics).

To effectively teach and communicate with subordinates, figure out their characteristic style of perception, so that they hear you and be heard, see what you mean, and grasp what you want to convey to them. If you listen carefully and observe clients and subordinates, you will find that they use words that signal the most convenient way for them to assimilate information. Audials listen to sound and intonation. They are very sensitive to emotions expressed in voice. Visuals need to see the words or they won't understand you. Kinesthetic learners need to physically and emotionally feel what you are talking about, touch it and let it through them.

Watch for a few days to see what words betray your communication style. Also note how best sellers adapt to the style of communication of customers.

These skills are usually overlooked, but they have a positive effect on business contacts, resolve conflicts much faster and turn you into an effective manager.

Table. Basic Communication Styles

Task Oriented Human oriented
Indirect Self-confident, decisive, willing to take risks, one-way communication, high level of achievement, talkative, gives orders Persistent, Proactive, Negotiator, Outgoing, Dreamer, Big Thinker, Optimist, Reliable, Enthusiast
Style: Likes clear, concise, specific memos, keeps time: “Don't take my time. When will you bring the report?" Style: prefers open and friendly conversation, praise and encouragement: “A most interesting task and a great opportunity. We will do it".
Needs: clear, concise, specific information Needs: recognition, freedom of expression, problem solving
Position: CEO, CEO, Board Member, President Position: sales manager, PR
Straight Risk-averse, solid, sticks to rules, realist, meticulous, precise, diplomatic, high standards, neat Friendly, calm, good listener, attentive, sincere, team player, focused on one task
Style: Prefers facts or non-personal questions: “Let's get the facts. Please let me know where this money went. Style: Prefers friendly, warm, pleasant conversation: " Good morning. How are you? Can I help you?"
Needs: Accuracy, organization, formal interaction Needs: friendly, familiar environment, acceptance, attention to detail
Position: accountant, engineer, system administrator, IT specialist Position: HR manager, social worker, administrator
© Neil Fiore. Psychology of personal effectiveness. How to beat stress, stay focused and enjoy your work. - M.: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2013.
© Published with the permission of the publisher

Introduction

“The ability to communicate with people is a commodity, and I will pay more for this skill than for anything else in the world.”

(J. Rockefeller)

Man is a "social being". This means that he lives among people and carries out his life activity (achieves goals, satisfies needs, works) only through interaction, communication - contact, mediated or imaginary.

In communication as a process of successive mutually oriented in time and space actions, reactions, behavioral acts, there is an exchange of information and its interpretation, mutual perception, mutual understanding, mutual assessment, empathy, the formation of likes or dislikes, the nature of relationships, beliefs, views, psychological impact, conflict resolution, implementation joint activities. Thus, each of us in our lives, interacting with other people, acquires practical skills and abilities in the field of communication.

Considering the process of human cognition of a person in communication, one of the founders of Soviet psychology, S.L. Rubinshtein, wrote: “In everyday life, communicating with people, we orient ourselves in their behavior, since we, as it were, “read” it, that is, we decipher the meaning of its external data and reveal the meaning of the resulting text in a context that has its own internal psychological plan. This 'reading' is fleeting, because in the process of communicating with those around us, certain studies are developed, a more or less automatically functioning subtext to their behavior.

Effective communication is the only thing that can be really important for all people living in a society. Not thinking about effective communication while communicating is like crossing a street in a busy place without looking around.

Effective communication:

    promotes mutual understanding;

    directs the flow of information in the right direction;

    helps people overcome barriers to open discussion;

    encourages interlocutors to take action to achieve their goals;

    communicates information, encouraging employees to think in new ways and act more effectively.

This paper describes the most significant techniques and technologies for effective communication.

Effective communication

Communication plays a huge role in the life of society. Without it, the process of education, formation, development of personality, interpersonal contacts, as well as management, service, scientific work and other activities in all areas where the transfer, assimilation of information and exchange of it are necessary, are inconceivable.

Communication plays an important role in a person's mastery of cultural and universal values, social experience. In the process of communication, this specific form of human interaction with other people, a mutual exchange of ideas, ideas, interests, moods, attitudes, etc. is carried out.

Increasing the importance of communication in today's world requires the ability to communicate. This means that communication needs to be taught, communication needs to be learned, which implies the need for a deep knowledge of this phenomenon, its patterns and features that are manifested in people's activities.

It is proposed to put the following definition of this discipline into the basis of the theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline. The culture of speech is such a set and such an organization of language tools that, in a certain situation of communication, while observing modern language norms and ethics of communication, can provide the greatest effect in achieving the set communicative tasks.

The effectiveness of communication is the "final product", the creation of which should be facilitated by the theory of speech culture in its practical application. By the effectiveness of communication, we mean the best way to achieve the set communication goals. The communicative goals of communication are closely related to the basic functions of the language.

Effective communication technologies are such methods, techniques and means of communication that fully ensure mutual understanding and mutual empathy (empathy is the ability to put oneself in the place of another person (or object), the ability to empathize) communication partners.

Communication itself as a complex socio-psychological process is characterized by three main content aspects: communicative, interactive and perceptual. Each of them has relative independence and provides certain goals for the subjects of communication:

The communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

The interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with the established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

The perceptual aspect expresses the need of the subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, empathy.

A special place in the content of technologies for effective communication in a conflict is occupied by the target settings of conflictants. First of all, this is due to a significant contradiction in the very process of such communication. On the one hand, rivals especially need to understand each other correctly. On the other hand, such mutual understanding is hampered by the lack of proper trust between them, their "closedness" in relation to each other, due to conscious or unconscious self-defense in the conflict. Therefore, in order to ensure constructive communication in a conflict, it is desirable (if possible) to create an atmosphere of mutual trust in this process, to form a target setting for cooperation.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

    Concentrate on the speaker, his message.

    Specify whether you correctly understood both the general content of the received information and its details.

    Tell the other party in paraphrased form the meaning of the information received.

    In the process of receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, do not give advice, do not criticize, do not sum up, do not be distracted by preparing an answer. This can be done after receiving the information and clarifying it.

    Make sure you are heard and understood. Follow the order in which information is presented. If you are not convinced of the accuracy of the information received by the partner, do not proceed to new messages.

    Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, show empathy for the interlocutor.

    Use non-verbal means communications: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and other techniques that encourage constructive dialogue.

For effective communication, you need to know some tricks, because. many of them operate at the subconscious level.

A few tips for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

    20 sec. you are being evaluated.

    20 sec. how and what you started to say.

    20 cm smiles and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

    Show genuine interest in the interviewee.

    To smile.

    Remember the name of the person and do not forget to repeat it from time to time in a conversation.

    Be able to listen.

    Carry on a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.

    Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

    Be observant;

    Make a compliment;

    Talk about the problems of the interlocutor.

Black's Rules for Effective Communication:

    Always insist on the truth.

    Building messages is simple and clear.

    Do not embellish, do not stuff the price.

    Remember that 1/2 of the audience are women.

    Make communication exciting, avoid boredom and routine.

    Control the form of communication, avoid extravagance.

    Do not spare time to clarify the general opinion.

    Remember the need for continuous communication and clarification of a common opinion.

    Try to be persuasive at every stage of communication.

As a result you will get:

    Formal contact develops into normal human communication.

    You will win the interlocutor.

    You will increase your self-esteem.

Let's look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of applying them in more detail.

First impression (first 20 seconds)

The first impression of a person is 38% dependent on the sound of the voice, 55% on visual sensations (from sign language) and only 7% on the verbal component. Of course, the first impression is not always the final verdict, but it is important that communication is built on its basis from the very beginning. Therefore, it is important to be able to good impression on those around you.

To safely get through the "minefield" of the first 20 seconds, you must use the "Rule of three" pluses ".

Experts have noticed: in order to win over the interlocutor from the very beginning of an acquaintance or conversation, you need to give him at least three psychological “pluses”, in other words, make pleasant “gifts” to his Child three times (The same applies to the end of a conversation or meeting).

There are, of course, many possible "pluses", but the most universal of them: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his importance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the easiest thing to communicate. But to make it masterfully is the highest art.

Compliments are of three types:

1. An indirect compliment. We praise not the person himself, but what is dear to him: a hunter - a gun, a “crazy” on dogs - his pet, a parent - a child, etc. It is enough, going into the office of a female boss, to notice in passing how tastefully the furnishings are chosen and how comfortable you feel here, in order to earn some favor with this.

2. Compliment "minus-plus". We give the interlocutor at first a small "minus". For example, “Perhaps I can’t say that you are a good worker ... You are an indispensable specialist for us!” After the “minus”, the person is lost and ready to be indignant, and then, in contrast, something very flattering is said for him. The psychological state resembles the sensations of a person balancing on the edge of an abyss: first, horror at the thought of death, and then, indescribable joy: “Alive!” Psychologists consider such a compliment to be the most emotional and memorable, but, like everything potent, it is risky. If the "minus" turns out to be stronger than the "plus", the consequences can be disastrous for us.

3. The person is compared to something most dear to the one who compliments. “I would like to have a responsible son like you!” This compliment is the most subtle and most pleasant for the interlocutor. But its scope is limited:

    In order not to look artificial, the existence of close and trusting relationships between the interlocutors is necessary.

    The partner must know how important for us what we are comparing.

The most difficult thing in a compliment is to adequately answer it. This cannot be done right away, otherwise the person, if not offended, will no longer want to compliment us another time. The general scheme may be as follows: "It's thanks to you!" All art consists in the ability to gracefully vary it. In other words, it is necessary to return the psychological “plus” to the person who gave it to us. At the same time, it is important to praise the interlocutor for his positive qualities, and not for the fact that he is so good: he praised us, noticed the good in us.

  1. Effective communication (2)

    Abstract >> Philosophy

    Be a business specialist communication. Effective communication impossible without possession ... etiquette is a tool that enhances efficiency communication giving positive emotions and... company business etiquette And effective business communication. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that...

  2. Effective communication communication

    Abstract >> Management

    Effective communication by phone. Telephone secrets communication. It took a hundred years for the phone to... start to lose concentration and your ability to effective communication decreases. Excessive muscle tension...

  3. Training for beginner teachers of preschool educational institutions on building effective communication and interactions with

    Task >> Psychology

    to yourself; 3. Exercise beginner teachers in building effective communication with parents. Schedule: I. Introduction. Introducing... establishing good personal contact and building effective

Effective communication skills are far more beneficial than a pay raise.
This is one of the most successful people planet - Aristotle Onassis does not need comments and additional explanations.

In one of my previous articles on , I dwelled on some important aspects of the ability to become an interesting conversationalist. The topic of today's article is effective communication with people.

How to learn effective communication and why is it needed?

Communication is a very important part of any interpersonal relationship, be it work, friends or family.

What is "effective communication"? It is an interaction with another person that benefits your interlocutor and you, thereby creating an emotional connection based on mutual sympathy.

Why is it important to communicate effectively? To achieve your own goals. We all live in an interdependent society, and none of us can ever succeed by ignoring other people. Any person is strong not only with his knowledge, but also with his relationships.

Have you ever wondered why it is difficult for you to communicate with people, while for someone else it turns out on its own? With this other, people are happy to get closer, but not with you. After all, you are not stupider and not worse. What is the point then?

I already wrote about this, but I will repeat. Some people receive the gift of effective communication from God, others specially learn this, either by "trial and error" or with the help of appropriate trainings.

But training is not always needed. Most are quite capable of learning on their own if given the right direction, which is what I'm about to do now.

Secrets and principles of effective communication

Wait for your interlocutor to finish the thought before you start talking yourself. Pay attention - “finish the thought !!!”, and not “finish the phrase” or “pause”. This is the whole secret.

Paraphrase the most important statements of the interlocutor with an interrogative intonation. …Hmmm, apparently it is necessary to explain what it is.

Paraphrase - retelling in your own words. Suppose the interlocutor in the course of the story expressed, from his point of view, an important thought. This can always be accurately tracked by intonation, emphasis and other features.

You paraphrase this thought and address it to the interlocutor, in the form of a clarifying question (with an “interested” intonation), for example - “So, you want to say that ... / If I understood you (understood) correctly ... / Let me clarify to make sure that I correctly caught (caught) the essence. Do you mean that…. (a paraphrase is pronounced here) ... ".

This type communication will not only show your respect for the interlocutor, but also let him know that you understand what he is talking about and listen to him carefully.

Use the expressions "I believe" / "I think" before making categorical or controversial statements. This will show that you are speaking "for yourself" and it is about your personal perception, which you can change under the influence of arguments.

This technique allows you to significantly reduce the level of "defense" of the interlocutor, and avoid negative perception on his part.

Don't blame. Even if the interlocutor understands that you are right on a particular issue, he will feel offended if you speak in the spirit: “Aha! You see!"

Avoid referencing other people to confirm your correctness. Your task is to express your own point of view, so any incorrect methods of conducting a dialogue should be excluded. For example: “Yes? And my friend, Tanya, also went there the year before last, and she didn’t see anything like what you’re telling me about here, so don’t…” Remember that the purpose of any of your statements is to convey your personal point of view and nothing more. We are talking about communication, and not about "victory" over the interlocutor or proving one's own innocence.

Ask clarifying questions. This will let your interlocutor know that you are really interested in what he thinks or how he feels.

Avoid words like "always" and "never". It's best not to say them at all.

Don't threaten even as a joke.

Never scream and don't raise your voice.

Maintain eye contact. This form of non-verbal behavior demonstrates your equality with the interlocutor. In addition, it commands respect. Be careful not to look down, especially with your head tilted.

Recognize the interlocutor's right to their own opinion and respect his feelings. Most people during the discussion are much more concerned about your respectful attitude to them than to the discussion itself.

Listen carefully to what is being said to you m. Be ready to gladly acknowledge that the other person has an interesting point of view or correct judgment. And all the time remind yourself that listening and coming to a common opinion is much more important than proving your own case.

FROM THE AUTHOR: My responses in the comments are the opinion of a private individual, and not the recommendation of a specialist. I try to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I don’t physically have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also don’t have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires great amount Free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I kindly ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, do not expect that I will advise in the comments or accompany your situation.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many do), but in this case, be prepared for the fact that I may not answer you. This is not a matter of principle, but exclusively of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified assistance, please contact me for advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

With respect and hope for understanding, Frederica

It is unlikely that you will argue with the fact that the main thing for which we communicate with people is to achieve mutual understanding. But, of course, you noticed that this does not always work out. No wonder, because there are people with whom it is pleasant to spend all the time, and there are those from whom you want to stay away. It’s a pity, but sometimes we are simply forced to talk with such people for reasons beyond our control.
I would like to say on this occasion that mutual understanding can be found with everyone.

Technology is getting old. The only thing that never gets old is communication.
"In sight / Suspects (Person of Interest)".

What helps us and what hinders our communication with people?

During communication, it is important not only to express your own point of view, but also to be able to listen to the opinion of the interlocutor. The talent to correctly explain one's opinion and intentions allows one to successfully avoid possible misunderstandings and conflict situations. It is worth noting that honesty very often contributes to this, but it must be remembered that the truth should not be used as a means to offend the interlocutor.

The reasons for misunderstanding may be different, but the main one is always unwillingness and inability to listen. If you listen carefully to a person, then he automatically understands that you are well-educated, you can delve into the problem and help solve it. By doing so, you help the interlocutor to clearly articulate their problem.

The communication process can be influenced by various factors - bad mood, problems in, a combination of circumstances, natural temper or shyness. In addition, it should be understood what kind of communication takes place in a given situation - informal or formal. Based on this, you need to build a certain behavior model.

However, people often do not distinguish between these types of communication, and therefore allow certain liberties and mistakes that the interlocutor may not forgive.